A Daughter's Heart Is Not A Good One To Break
by SoulsOfStardust
Summary: What a shame, what a big mistake. In which, Allison is an actress, and a damn good one at that.


A/N: This is something that I'd thought I'd try. I wanted to do an Allison one-shot that focused on her character and the roles she plays throughout her life as a person, cuz ya know, she's an actress. The style is very different from what I normally do, but I'm quite pleased with how it turned out. Plus, I already do a lot of listing when I write, so this is just a change in aesthetic. Cuz why not. Also, they don't have a strike-through option which sucks, but just pretend the underlines are just that! Inspired by (is it even a question at this point) The Maine's Sad Songs. Lemme know what y'all think!

Disclaimer: I do not own Netflix's The Umbrella Academy or The Maine's Sad Songs. This is purely for fun and not for profit.

* * *

(_Actors, on your marks_.)

Allison Hargreaves did not have a father.

(_Cue the lights_.)

Scratch that. She technically (_legally, she insisted_) did have a father, just not one that _acted_ like a father.

(_Cameras, ready_.)

She should know. She knew _all_ about acting.

(_Rolling_.)

This is because she herself was an actress, and a damn good one at that, too_._

(_Action_.)

* * *

A List Of Things That Did Not Happen Before Joining The Umbrella Academy:

1\. She didn't audition. (_She probably wouldn't have cared to._)

2\. She didn't get a callback. (_She probably wouldn't have returned._)

3\. She didn't hope and wait for word on whether she had been chosen for the part. (_She probably wouldn't have accepted._)

A List Of Things That Did Happen Before Joining The Umbrella Academy:

1\. She was miraculously born. (_Interestingly enough._)

2\. She was unlovingly bought. (_Horribly enough._)

3\. She was dropped into a life of hardship and superhero work. (_Dreadfully enough._)

* * *

Allison starred in several roles over her lifetime. She acted every day in the roles she had been forced to play since the day of her birth. She would also (_unfortunately_) continue to play these roles until the day of her death.

(_A lifelong performance is what she was created for, and hell, she was going to do just that_.)

The Roles of Allison Hargreaves:

1\. Superhero

2\. Sister

3\. Daughter

(_Specifically in that order. Listed from most to least important to Allison_.)

At age seven, three roles were not all that hard for Allison to handle, especially when her main focus was her job as a superhero, and being a daughter was the least of her worries. She found that acting was rather quite easy for her. There were just a few rules she had to follow and _voila_. Everybody believed her performance, day in and day out.

Allison Hargreaves' Rules For Acting:

1\. Know your audience. (_Fears and desires are handy._)

2\. Listen and react. (_Pay attention to the scene and anticipate the next step._)

3\. Non-verbal communication is _everything_.(_Expressions and gestures relate a thousand words._)

4\. Do your homework. (_Research sucks, but it's important for a reason._)

5\. Be confident. (_Damn straight._)

6\. Lose yourself in your character. (_Forget who you are and your audience will too._)

(_Not specifically in that order. All were equally important to Allison_.)

She prided herself in her acting skills based on these rules. She felt special having such talent, as if it was a second superpower.

Allison Hargreaves' Superb Superpowers (Acting-Wise):

1\. She knew what made people tick. (_She watched and read and listened and learned._)

2\. She knew how to use such knowledge to her advantage. (_She could get whatever she wanted by playing her cards right._)

3\. She understood what actions and reactions would convince people she was who she made herself out to be. (_She even convinced herself and that's saying something._)

By contrast, Sir Reginald, in her opinion, most definitely was a terrible actor. He couldn't act like a father for _shit_.

Sir Reginald Hargreaves' Sub-Par Acting Skills (Or Lack Thereof):

1\. He didn't know his (_adopted, she emphasized_) children and treated them like crap. (_He didn't know how to raise children at all._)

2\. He never listened to what they had to say. (_He thought he was always right, even if it was blaringly obvious he wasn't._)

3\. He was confident (_she gave him that_) but he was an asshole through and through. (_Nobody likes an asshole, especially not for a father._)

When she finally realized how horrible of a father he was, she made no effort to act like a daughter, or at least a good one.

(_Only good fathers deserved good daughters. Sir Reginald was not a good father, not in the slightest._)

* * *

Over the years, Allison's list of roles expanded to encompass her evolving life.

The Roles of Allison Hargreaves:

1\. Superhero

2\. Girlfriend ?

3\. Sister

4\. Daughter

At age thirteen, a member of the audience she called family changed, which meant she found herself in a new role, albeit a questionable one.

Signs That Luther and Allison *Possibly* Had A Thing:

1\. Glancing (_Lots of it, too, especially when he thought she didn't see._)

2\. Holding hands (_In secret, of course._)

3\. Smiling at each other (_It just seemed different._)

4\. Kissing (_Only sometimes and behind closed doors._)

_Okay_. Maybe that last one would be a dead giveaway if they had ever put a label on whatever the hell it was they were doing. The body language was a tell-tale sign of dating, but the verbal clarification was severely lacking. Even though Rule #3 was vital to understanding a character, dialogue would be immensely helpful in a situation such as this.

(_Say something, Luther, goddammit!_)

Alas, there came a day where they no longer needed to worry about such complications. She just wasn't there to deal with them anymore.

A List Of Unfortunate Occurrences:

1\. She left. (_She ran to the open arms of Hollywood stardom._)

2\. Their relationship was never defined. (_A tragic fate they acknowledged from the beginning._)

3\. They broke each other's hearts. (_An unfavorable side effect of the previous point_.)

Allison was gone, but woe followed her wherever she went.

(_Emotions fucking sucked, but she could act her way through them. She always did_.)

* * *

At age eighteen, her entire audience completely shifted as she abandoned one career for another.

The Roles of Allison Hargreaves:

1\. Actress

2\. Superhero

3\. Girlfriend ?

4\. Sister

5\. Daughter

Allison may not have been a member of the Umbrella Academy anymore, and may not have figured out her relationship status with Luther, but she still considered herself occupying the roles of sister (_which was fine_) and daughter (_which was not fine_).

(_No matter where she went, she was still tied to the Hargreaves name_.)

A List Of Things That Were Not Okay:

1\. This (_Fucking this_)

However, she was free to live her life now that she had escaped the seeming dungeon of the academy mansion. The world was her stage, and she was going to do whatever the _fuck_ she wanted to do.

Allison Hargreaves' Hollywood To Do List:

1\. Put her acting skills to good use. (_There's no point in letting them collect dust._)

2\. Be a professional actress. (_It was what she was good at, so why not get money for it?_)

3\. Prove to Sir Reginald she was meant for more. (_She wasn't a failure._)

4\. Make a name for herself. (_And hopefully renounce her family name in the process._)

(_Not specifically in that order. Whatever came first was fine by her as long as everything eventually came to be._)

Rule #5 would be her guiding light in the unknown landscape of Hollywood fame and fortune. Confidence was key, after all. Allison was ready to take on the world.

(_That's exactly what she did._)

* * *

At age twenty, she fell in love, adding a previous role back to her resumé.

The Roles of Allison Hargreaves:

1\. Actress

2\. Girlfriend

3\. Superhero

4\. Sister

5\. Daughter

Luckily for Allison, this relationship was more certain than the last one. There was no wondering where she stood with Patrick. They were together, and that was that.

A List Of Things That Patrick And Allison Had In Common:

1\. They were both actors. (_They had met on the set of a movie they were filming._)

2\. They both had bad experiences with exes. (_The experiences weren't the same, but the shared sentiment was there._)

3\. They both had shitty fathers. (_Again, the shared sentiment is the important detail._)

(_Rule #1 and Rule #4 went hand in hand. Get to know who you're fooling and your performance will be solid_.)

Although she loved Patrick, her career as an actress still remained her number one priority. Allison was a distinguished movie starlet only two years after she had begun acting. It was a job she enjoyed very much. Life was _good_. Everything seemed so _easy_.

(_Little did she know her future would get a whole lot harder._)

* * *

At age twenty-two, she rumored a man who had fallen out of love with her. They got married the spring of the following year.

The Roles of Allison Hargreaves:

1\. Actress

2\. Girlfriend Wife

3\. Superhero

4\. Sister

5\. Daughter

Allison had abused her powers. It was no surprise to her, though. She had been rumoring people throughout the Hollywood industry for four years now to get the roles she desired.

(_How else would she have risen to popularity so quickly?_)

This situation was no different. Patrick was the casting director, and his wife was the role she longed for. It was the logical next step, provided by a twisted interpretation of Rule #2.

(_Anticipate and react. No harm, no foul_.)

Allison Hargreaves' Reasons For Rumoring Her Husband:

1\. She didn't know. (_She wanted to prove to Luther that she was over him_.)

2\. She wasn't certain. (_She wanted to prove to Sir Reginald that she wasn't a failure_.)

3\. She couldn't say. (_She wanted to prove to herself that she was worthy of love_.)

(_Specifically in that order. Listed from least to most important to Allison_.)

She couldn't stand the thought of being denied love for a third time.

(_Her heart had already been broken by a father and a lover. She couldn't handle any more pain_.)

* * *

At age twenty-three, she had a daughter. She named her Claire.

The Roles of Allison Hargreaves:

1\. Mother

2\. Actress

3\. Girlfriend Wife

4\. Superhero

5\. Sister

6\. Daughter

Allison loved Claire with all her heart. She promised to be the best mother she could be. She didn't want her daughter to hate her parents just as she hated her own father. She didn't want Claire to end up like her.

(_Oh, how promises and hearts alike were made to be broken_.)

* * *

At age twenty-eight, she lost her family.

The Roles of Allison Hargreaves:

1\. Mother (Non-custodial)

2\. Actress

3\. Girlfriend Wife Divorcee

4\. Superhero

5\. Sister

6\. Daughter

Allison had been caught rumoring her own daughter. She had been doing it for years. When he found out, Patrick filed for divorce and sole custody. He won.

A List Of Allison Hargreaves' Regrets In Life:

1\. Hurting her daughter. (_She didn't mean it_.)

2\. Hurting Patrick. (_She didn't mean it_.)

3\. Hurting her family. (_She didn't mean it_.)

4\. Hurting Luther. (_She didn't mean it_.)

5\. Hurting herself. (_She didn't mean it_.)

(_Specifically in that order. Listed from most to least important to Allison_.)

She had gotten lost in her character. She had forgotten who she was, and in turn, so did her audience.

(_It was coming back to everyone now_.)

A List Of Things That Allison Hargreaves Was:

1\. The Rumor (_A liar and a cheat_.)

2\. Number Three (_A monster without a real name_.)

3\. Allison Hargreaves (_A girl who had failed at fame and love and family not only once, but twice in a lifetime_.)

(_Rule #6 was a bitch. It always was_.)

Allison regretted the things she had done over the years. It took the loss of the person she held closest to her heart to realize her wrongdoings. Now, she was paying the heavy price to atone for her sins.

(_She had broken her own heart. She felt she deserved it_.)

* * *

At age twenty-nine, she went home. Subsequently, all hell broke loose.

The Roles of Allison Hargreaves:

1\. Mother (Non-custodial)

2\. Sister

3\. Superhero

4\. Girlfriend ?

5\. Actress

6\. Girlfriend Wife Divorcee

7\. Daughter

It should probably be noted that Sir Reginald's death had prompted Allison's return to the Umbrella Academy. Not that she was sad or anything like that. She just knew there were a few loose ends she needed to tie up.

(_There just so happened to be several more loose ends than she intended to deal with_.)

Allison Hargreaves' Umbrella Academy To Do List:

1\. Call Claire as much as possible. (_Even though she was thousands of miles away, she still needed to stay in touch with her daughter_.)

2\. Be a better sister. (_She tried to reconnect with her estranged siblings after years of separation_.)

3\. Help stop the apocalypse. (_She didn't really know how to respond to that when Five appeared, but hey, it's an opportunity for sibling bonding, right?_)

4\. Get closure with Luther. (_This one wasn't turning out the way she wanted because she was still confused by him as ever_.)

5\. Bury her father. (_Oh yeah, that's what they were there for_.)

(_Specifically in that order. Listed from most to least important to Allison_.)

Things seemed to be going so _well_. Allison should've known by now that things didn't go so well for the Hargreaves for very long.

(_They never did_.)

* * *

At age twenty-nine, she went back in time. She was trapped in her thirteen-year-old body and whisked back to square one once again.

The Roles of Allison Hargreaves:

1\. Mother (Non-custodial)

2\. Sister

3\. Superhero

4\. Girlfriend ?

5\. Actress

6\. Girlfriend Wife Divorcee

7\. Daughter

Allison's previous life was no longer a reality. It was the past and the future at the same damn time and it made her head hurt to think about it too hard.

A List Of Things Allison Hargreaves Lost In The Time Jump:

1\. Claire (_Oh God no_.)

2\. Her acting career (_Damn_.)

3\. Her status as a divorcee (_She's okay with that_.)

4\. Her life (_Freedom from the academy and her normal body were dearly missed_.)

5\. Time (_So much fucking time_.)

Allison didn't know what to do. None of them did. When she saw her father, though, alive and kicking (_the old bastard_), she realized a few things.

A List Of Allison Hargreaves' Epiphanies:

1\. Sir Reginald was an asshole. (_Well, no shit_.)

2\. He would never be anything but an asshole. (_Okay, and?_)

3\. They were also assholes as kids. (_Arguably as adults, too_.)

4\. They had a chance to fix their asshole mistakes. (_Of course_.)

It was simple, really. All she had to do was refer to her rules of acting.

(_With a little TLC, they were perfect_.)

How To Save The World, A Family, And Allison Hargreaves:

1\. Know your audience. (_Get to know the people close to you, and who knows, maybe you'll end up liking them_.)

2\. Listen and react. (_Hear what people are saying and make a real connection with them_.)

3\. All communication is important. (_Body language speaks volumes, but dialogue is critical in understanding a situation_.)

4\. Do your homework. (_When you make mistakes, learn from them, with or without the help of a time-traveling sibling_.)

5\. Be confident. (_Optimism is great, but cockiness is not_.)

6\. Be your honest self. (_This seems counterintuitive for acting, but when the character is yourself, you can't be deceitful_.)

(_Not specifically in that order. All were equally important to Allison_.)

She knew what she was doing.

She should know. She knew _all_ about acting.

* * *

(_Actors, on your marks_.)

In the end, Allison Hargreaves _still_ didn't have a father, or at least one that was good at _acting_ like a father.

(_That didn't matter, though_.)

What did matter was that she wasn't going to be like him. The daughter was not going to follow in the footsteps of the father.

(_Cue the lights_.)

Instead, she was going to right her wrongs with this opportunity to live again. She had a daughter who's heart she was determined not to break this time around.

(_Maybe she could heal her own broken heart in the process_.)

A List Of Things That Were Okay:

1\. This (_Fucking this_)

(_Cameras, ready_.)

Allison knew what she was doing. Although she was an actress, and a damn good one at that, she knew there was only one role she was born to play flawlessly and honestly. It was the end-all performance that would hopefully save the world, her family, and herself.

(_Rolling_.)

The Roles of Allison Hargreaves:

1\. Allison Hargreaves

(_Specifically in that order. Listed as the most important to Allison._)

Filming for her redemption arc started today, and she was ready.

(_Action_.)

* * *

Hope y'all enjoyed!

~SOS~


End file.
